Young love's a wonderful thing
He's driving to her parents and she's wearing his ring
How many times have I seen this one before?
Young love's never without its troubles
I'm not saying this to burst your bubble
But just you wait 'til the first few months are over

All the nights I'd spent
Engineering a chance meeting
All the nights I'd spent
Well, it's embarrassing to think what I did then

Don't talk to me about the seven-minute itch
Seven weeks is long enough for me
You see him in pyjamas and it's all downhill from there

In bedrooms and staffrooms across the world
People are planning escape
You don't believe me now but soon you will

All the nights I'd spent
Engineering a chance meeting
All the nights I'd spent
Well, it's embarrassing to think what I did then

I tried to show some interest
I tried to find out what he liked
But it didn't get me anywhere at all
I tried to make acquaintance
I gave up all my Friday nights
But it didn't get me anywhere at all

And just like Winston Churchill
Forced to deliver the bad news
Never in the field of human conflict
Have I been so unamused
Now if anybody wants me
Then you know where I am
If it's an emergency, but otherwise
I'm coping on my own
I'm coping on my own