G                                                                      Em
If I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette
                     C                                G
then I'd have enough cigarettes to get me through the day.
                   G                                                            Em
And if I had some spare change every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change
                     C                                                   D
then I'd have enough spare change to take care of these bills I need to pay.
            Em       C         D                   Em            C                Am
And dude I know that times are tough but that does not mean that you can have my stuff
               G                            Em
So how about a ride? I can drive you to the shelter
                         C                                    D
We can eat dinner at the Andre house and you can even take a shower
              Em  C             D                        Am
Cause I think you deserve much more than a smoke and 50 cents
    Em                C                        D       Am
You deserve to be self-sufficient and buy your own cigarettes
Em C D Am D
G                                                                         D
Oh, when the saints, oh, when the saints, oh when the saints go marching in
G                         C                   G               D                G
They will feed you so much pizza that you'll forget about the rut that you are in
G                                                                          C
Oh, when the saints, Oh, when the saints, oh when the saints come marching in
G                                  D               C
Well I'm sure they'll feel so much better with the illusion
              D                 G
that they are helping out those sinners
             C             D                           G
when all they really do is buy those so called sinners shitty dinners
              C                             D
Like 5 dollar Hot and Ready pizzas and high fructose corn syrup punch
      G                      C
You diabetic and apathetic, wondering when they will bring you lunch 
       G                  C            G         D        G     
to the park they keep you in, when the saints go marching in
                  G                                                           Em
So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette
                    C                     Cm                     G
but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out
         G                                                                                 Em
I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change
                             C                      Cm                         G
but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.