Gm           F             Eb      D
Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction
Gm
Forgive our sins forged at the pulpit
Eb                     D
With forked tongues selling faux sermons
       Gm     F               Eb
'Cause I am a new wave gospel sharp
           D
And you'll be thy witness
   Gm
So gentlemen, if you're gonna preach
    D                           Eb
For God sakes preach with conviction

[Camisado]
D
You're a regular decorated emergency
D
You're a regular decorated emergency

D        D7

Bm
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
G
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
D
It's not so pleasant and it's not so conventional
A                                Bbm
It sure as hell ain't normal but we deal, we deal
Bm
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
G
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
D
No it's not so pleasant and it's not so conventional
A                                Bbm
It sure as hell ain't normal but we deal, we deal

[Build God, Then We'll Talk]
D                       Gm
Along with the people inside
Bb      F   D    Gm         Cm  Bb  D
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Gm      Bb     F    D    Gm         Cm  Bb  D
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
          D
There are no

[Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks]
Dm              F
Prescribed pills
                    Bb
To offset the shakes
                   Gm
To offset the pills
                  Dm
You know you should take
F            Bb   Gm
It a day at a time
Dm              F
Prescribed pills
                    Bb
To offset the shakes
                   Gm
To offset the pills
                  Dm
You know you should take
F            Bb   Gm
It a day at a time
Am   Gm  Am Gm
time

[But It's Better If You Do]
        Am                         F                E
Now I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret
    Am                                         F           E
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque queen may even ask my name
       Am
As she sheds her skin on stage
    F                        E                        Am
I'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the club's P.A.
                                    F
The strip joint veteran sits two away
                      E                          F         E    Dm
Smirking between dignified sips of his dignified peach and lime daiquiri

[I Write Sins Not Tragedies]
Am
I chime in with a
F                        Dm       G                   Am
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
              F                    Dm
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
                G
With a sense of poise and rationality
Am
I chime in
F                        Dm       G                   Am
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
              F                    Dm
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things

[Time to Dance]
Dm
Have some composure
Am
Where is your posture?
Bb
Oh, no, no
Am
You're pulling the trigger
F
Pulling the trigger
Gm
All wrong
Dm
Have some composure
Am
Where is your posture?
Bb
Oh, no, no
Am
You're pulling the trigger
F
Pulling the trigger
Gm       Am    Gm    Am   Gm
All wrong

[Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off]
      Am                 G
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
         F
Will you dance to this beat
    E
And hold a lover close?
      Am                 G
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
         F
Will you dance to this beat
    E
And hold a lover close?

[The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage]
E                         Gbm
Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
          D               A               E
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
D         E       Gbm
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives
E                        Gbm
Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
          D               A               E
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
D        E             Am  D  Em
I aim to be, your eyes

[There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of it Yet]
      Em                       D                         G
And I know, and I know It just doesn't feel like a night out
                       C
With no one sizing you up
           Am            B
I've never been so surreptitious,
                          Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
      Em                       D                         G
And I know, and I know It just doesn't feel like a night out
                       C
With no one sizing you up
           Am            B
I've never been so surreptitious,
                          Em                   Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch